So yesterday morning, I wake up and for the 10th day I am wondering where my son's new semi automatic uzi bb guns have disappeared to. The ones I paid for, the ones that cost $17. EACH.
And should I mention the fact that 5 days ago his new School Sketchers disappeared. So, la te da, my morning goes on as usual no please or thank you just make me breakfast, did you make my lunch and the crap that goes along with that.
And then and then....The shit hit the fan. My beautiful and loving son ( please hear the sarcasm in that. ) Tells me I should buy him new shoes because....Wait for it....wait for it......I can't find his old ones. Oh, this is one of those times that it is better that I wasn't being monitored. Oh, it was not a proud parenting moment.......I lost it. let me just say that it takes a lot for me to lose it, but after hours and hours of searching the house and yard, for days mind you, and I couldn't find either one. And to ask me to go buy new $50 sneakers because you can't remember where you took them off........I saw RED
I was throwing furniture (well, sliding it with great vilosity across the floor.) And screaming very not nice words at my son...."Me, I need to find them! Where the ******did you put them, since when is it my job to keep track of your sneakers"......etc.
The kids slunk out of the house to wait for the bus, and I continued to throw garbage, be it the recycles and stuff piled for junk day across the house. I was so angry. I can tell that my blood pressure is still up, not my best parenting moment!
They left, I calmed down, went to work and when I came home I decided to check the bushes and shrubs in the yard again. This is when I found his uzi's in the dirt under some pachysandra, under the lilac bush. I was so happy, I wanted to jump for joy. I went and picked up my children at school and told my son that I found his guns and then stated, YOU WILL NOT GET THEM BACK UNTIL I SEE YOUR SHOES.
To my amazement, and dismay suddenly he remembered he left them outside in some weeds by the wood pile....He pointed to the exact spot....
Can you see why I was seeing RED!